the secret is out

I think two days ago I mentioned that my Husband and I have been trying for a baby. Its been about 1.5 years and to no avail we have been unsuccessful, so I went to see a specialist this past Wednesday.

To my surprise it wasn't as scary as I made it out to be, but still all day leading up to my appointment I wanted to jump out of my skin and run as far as I could. With that being said the appointment went well and I was given a wealth of information to digest the best I could and the gyno sent me on my way to have blood drawn. My least favorite thing, the nurses at the lab are like blood sucking vampires who most of the time hurt sticking you and hurt you wil they pull out (thats what she said). I went home that night to a sympathetic husband who still feels the need to be embarrassed about this whole ordeal even though many couples go through this. As I sat discussing all the information with my husband he politely asked me how I felt about everything now, I was shocked, to think he really might want to know how I feel. Not, because he doesn't care but because he is trying to understand how I am not embarrassed by the situation at hand. I took a minute and gathered my thoughts, explained in my round about way that this happens to people and for myself, I find that this is a "small" problem or bump in the road but that I do best when I am able to talk about it and feel that there is support; right now the only support I see for myself is you and my mom. I want to see support for you parents and I think I would feel less stressed and like I didnt need to tip toeing around when I see them. We should discuss this with them so they don't think we are pregnant and are disappointed when they fin out we are not. I sat there waiting for a response and reluctantly agreed but it had to wait since they were having dinner with his sister and her family. That was the end of our discussion that night.

This brings me to last night, it was such a beautiful day even with the rain in the afternoon. When I got home Justin and I talked about how we would tell his parents. We decided not to go into huge detail but there was two points we wanted to make 1. was we are not pregnant at this time and 2. we are seeing a specialist, we had our dinner and went over our plan again then headed down our driveway to their home (if i didn't mention before they live 1/4 of a mile down our driveway).
So, we get to their house and were sitting in the living room, my husband starts the conversation and say so we would like to talk with you about something. Their yes light up and immediately Justin and I knew they thought we were pregnant. Justin (husband) tells them that we want to make it clear that we are not pregnant in case they thought we were. His parents both were a little shocked and sad, at least what I could tell from there faces. I then lead the conversation to "with that being said" we are having trouble conceiving and so we have seen a specialist. They were a little shocked but I have to say I felt so much better telling them, it was a ton of books of my shoulders. They said they are glad that we told them and they want to be as supportive as possible, also that we can lean on them "they are family". I chuckled at the thought, but I couldn't agree more. We also told them we didn't want to tell anyone anything until we have all of the test results back and if anyone asks if were pregnant to say were not.

After all of that awesome conversation Justin went back and watched the hockey game and I went to bed at like 2030; it was a relief and much needed sleep! What an exhausting 2 hours...