Another appointment

Some time ago now, this blog was just a thought in my husbands head; now its a functioning working piece of my thoughts, feelings, and love all written down. It really is just a modge podge of craziness! When I first set out to do this blog I was going to discuss my journey through infertility, since Justin (husband) and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year.

We have struggled with conception and are now seeing a "specialist" as I have previously spoken about before. I don't remember if I said how my first rounds of test came out but here is what I know so far. Justin spooged ejaculated in a cup and his test came back normal (yeah!) As for me I had tons of blood drawn and found that I have all normal levels (yeah!). So, all in all right now it looks like we were in the clear of any actual fertility problems.

Yesterday, on the 26th I had the last test that was needed before Justin and I meet with the "specialist" and that was an ultrasound, well two really, I had a normal one on the outside of my abdominal cavity where they looked at my kidneys, uterus, ovaries, stomach and bladder. Mind you during this part I had a full bladder and had to pee so bad that I think if the radiologist asked me to roll to my side one more time I was going to pee my pants (literally not figuratively). The next part of the ultrasound was an internal one where they ask you to finally relieve your bladder and they look at your ovaries and uterus more clearly from the inside so its a much more clear and closer picture. That part wasn't painful it was just a little weird, and awkward.

From the ultrasound the radiologist found that I have cysts on both ovaries and on my right side a rather large one. At that time I didn't know what to say but OK, thanks for the information. By the time I had gotten to work in sank in that this could be a huge problem and prolong the whole getting prego thing a bit. My co-workers had to console me for a few minutes while I cried, it was rather cathartic. They may never know how much it means that they take the time to listen to my many problems (thanks!). In the meantime I need to try not to worry as Justin says and wait til Thursday for our appointment with the "specialist" to figure out a game plan. (if you haven't figured it out I am into having a plan and goals).

Lets hope all things go well and we come out of this with a renewed sense that we ARE going to have a baby.

First Day of Spring

It is the First Day of Spring and let me tell you its a beautiful 70 something degrees and sunny out! I am very ready to go sit outside with a book and beer, but alas I am at work. That means I am inside with every window open and drinking lots of water because its getting warm up in the Attic where my office is.

I wonder what people must think around me we are in Northern Vermont and we normally have snow until June if not July :-/ I know I am so amazed with Mother Nature that I hope she doesn't turn around and backhand us with a blizzard. But in the mean time I am going to enjoy this weather and hope that my gardens don't get to ahead of themselves by showing up a month or so early, but if they do I wouldn't mind the color :)

I will leave with a few First Day of Spring pictures from the world wide webbers and pinners on Pinterest!

                                                                                              http://www.7onashoestring.com/

 http://www.google.com/

light hearted and spring fever

OK so Mondays normally give me the Blahs, however today Spring has hit with force. Its sunny and about 70 degrees outside, I feel like I need a lawn chair and a brewski for outside my office window :) Now that's classy in the NEK!

So I have been driving myself bonkers with the fact that I have many friends and friends children with Birthdays coming up between now (mid-March) to April and beyond. Which means I have tons of cards to make and lots of gift buying to do. Shoot me in the Foot! I love buying stuff for people but I dislike trying to figure something out to buy... Like for instance my loving adoring niece, shes going to 5; what do you get a 5 year old that they don't already have form either their father or their mother or grandparents for that matter. at this time I am thinking that I want to make her a toy chest (pretty ambitious) but I also want to make a tee pee or even buy her the new clothing line at GAP by DVF... What a stylish little girl she will be:) However just the though of this gives me a headache, please lord just give me a sign on what to buy her or make her!!! Needless to say I will be agonizing over these things for a few weeks while I prepare every gift, make every card, and wrap it all with bows included, I am in love with all the crafty shit and what not ;) watch out world this girl is on a rampage for gifts and craftiness!!

Here is what my  hubby put together for me this weekend! Our last Wedding gift that has been left unopened til spring :)

TV Junkie

So I know a lot of people are food junkies, health junkies, car junkies, and well some are TV junkies... I will put myself in the TV Junkie section right now! I am obsessed with a few nightly TV shows, I don't just mean I watch them religiously (well I do), but I mean like I eat breath and dream about these shows. I think its what some people would call crazy :-/ But, in reality I love, I mean LOVE these shows and I am going to share my top 5 picks for TV viewing at this time of year! In descending order 5-1

#5 The Mentalist- CBS @10pm, Thursdays

About the show: Stars Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Within the Bureau, Jane is notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a psychic medium, whose paranormal abilities he now admits he feigned. Jane's role in cracking a series of tough, high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents; however, no-nonsense Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon alternates between reluctantly acknowledging Jane's usefulness and blasting him for his theatrics, narcissism and dangerous lack of boundaries. Lisbon's team includes agents Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and Grace Van Pelt, who all think Jane's a loose cannon but admire his charm and knack for clearing cases.

My Take: This show is worth while watch for the quirkiness of Simon Bakers character along with the possible attraction "jane" has to his boss Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon and the fact who doesn't love a crime drama.

#4 Pretty Little Liars- ABC Family @8pm Mondays

About the show: Rosewood is a perfect little town. So quiet and pristine, you'd never guess it holds so many secrets. Some of the ugliest ones belong to the prettiest girls in town -- Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily, four estranged friends whose darkest secrets are about to unravel. One year ago, Alison, the Queen Bee of their group, disappeared and the girls swore they'd never tell what really happened that night. They thought their secrets would bond them together, but just the opposite is true. Then again, who's to say what the truth is in Rosewood. It seems everyone in town is lying about something. Now, as the mystery surrounding Alison's disappearance resurfaces, the girls begin getting messages from "A," saying – and threatening – things only Alison would know. But it couldn't be Alison. Could it? Whoever it is, they seem to know all the girls' secrets, and seem to be watching their every move. The girls are friends again, but will they be there for each other if their dark secrets come to light?

My Take: Who ever loved the books will definitely have fun with the TV series. For me its almost like living in high school or being a teen again. I can say I really feel for the characters and love the drama BUT and glad its not drama in my life. This show is like my Guilty Pleasure!!

#3 Castle- ABC @10pm Mondays

About the show: When viewers first met Richard Castle -- a famous mystery novelist and divorced father raising his teenage daughter, while being kept grounded by his Broadway diva mother -- he was creatively blocked. But when the NYPD questioned him in connection with a series of murders staged to imitate crime scenes from his books, Castle found inspiration in NYPD Detective Kate Beckett, a bright and aggressive homicide detective with a fascination for odd and offbeat cases stemming from the years-old unsolved murder of her own mother. Though they instantly clashed, sparks of another sort began to fly, leading both to danger and a hint of romance as Castle stepped in to help find the copycat killer. Once that initial case was solved, Castle and Beckett continued to investigate strange homicides in New York, combining Castle's writer intuition and Beckett's creative detective work.Over the past three seasons, Castle and Beckett's relationship has grown even stronger as they've dodged bullets, captured killers, and solved countless murder cases with their unorthodox partnership. But in the explosive Season 3 finale this past May, NYPD Captain Roy Montgomery, who we learned had a connection to the unsolved murder of Beckett's mother, was shot and killed by a man tied to that years-old crime. As the episode came to a close, Beckett, who was speaking about her Captain at his funeral, took a bullet from a sniper's rifle and was last seen on the ground with life fading out of her...

My Take: I am in love with Castle mostly because I think Nathan Filion who plays Castle is fabulous and kinda hunky (don't tell me husband). I also love crime dramas and well this is a fun one that took Law and Order SVUs place in my heart. I find that the attraction between Castle and Detective Beckett absolutely fabulous, plus I think I would read his books if they were real :)

#2 Whitney- NBC @8pm Wednesdays

About the show: "Whitney" is a hilarious look at modern day love, which centers around Whitney and Alex a happily unmarried couple. Together for three years, the duo is in no rush to get hitched, which seems to get a mixed response from their friends. Whitney's close circle of girlfriends includes, on one side, Lily a romantic idealist who loves being in love, and on the other, Roxanne, a recent divorcee who is practical, cynical and dreading being single again. Lily and Roxanne's opposing points of view only exacerbate Whitney's own complicated outlook on relationships. Completing their close-knit group is Neal, a real modern day Renaissance man - sensitive and cool, who knows a little bit about everything and happens to be dating Lily. On the other end of the spectrum is Whitney and Alex's next-door neighbor Mark, a police officer and total bachelor, who claims to be the ultimate player, but likes to talk a good game. At the end of the day, Whitney and Alex realize that while their relationship might not be perfect on paper, they really do love each other - and that works for them.

My Take: This show has become such a fun one to watch. As soon as it was out of the gate it made me fall out of my chair laughing and it even has grown to be a show that my husband finds funny. Who had ever heard of Whitney Cummings before will hear her roar now that she has a hit show of her own and has a hit show on another station that she writes called "2 Broke Girls" which BTW is hilarious.

#1.5 Criminal Minds- CBS @9pm Wednesdays :

This is my sneaking in the back show that I have religiously followed since it started! 

About this Show: revolves around an elite team of FBI profilers who analyze the country's most twisted criminal minds, anticipating their next moves before they strike again. The Behavioral Analysis Unit's most experienced agent is David Rossi, a founding member of the BAU who returns to help the team solve new cases. The team is lead by Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, a strong profiler who is able to gain people's trust and unlock their secrets. Other members include Emily Prentiss, a former Interpol agent and daughter of high-powered diplomats whose past life has caught up with her, leading to her presumed demise; Special Agent Derek Morgan, an expert on obsessional crimes; Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid, a classically misunderstood genius whose social IQ is as low as his intellectual IQ is high; Jennifer "J.J." Jareau, the team's confident unit liaison who was called to a top Pentagon job but returns to the BAU under mysterious circumstances; and Penelope Garcia, a computer wizard who helps research the cases. Each member brings his or her own area of expertise to the table as they pinpoint predators' motivations and identify their emotional triggers in the attempt to stop them.

My Take: Who doesn't love SMART, HUNKIE MEN. Plus in another life I will only hope to be as smart as these guys, criminals are so intriguing, the psychoanalysis of each criminal is pretty impressive and rather interesting to me. But alas I am nowhere near being an FBI agent or a Behavioral Analyser I just work with the Youts!

#1 How I Met Your Mother- CBS @8pm Monday

: About the Show: a comedy about Ted and how he fell in love. It all started when Ted's best friend, Marshall, dropped the bombshell that he was going to propose to his longtime girlfriend, Lily, a kindergarten teacher. At that moment, Ted realized that he had better get a move on if he, too, hopes to find true love. Helping him in his quest is his friend Barney, a confirmed bachelor with endless, sometimes outrageous opinions, a penchant for suits and a foolproof way to meet women. When Ted meets Robin, he's sure it's love at first sight, but destiny has something else in store. The series is narrated through flashbacks from the future.

My Take: My husband and I are both super fans of this show we watch it religiously and we even own all the seasons on DVD. When we didn't have cable we would watch each season in order over and over and over again. I love Neil Patrick Harris although right now in the series I could strangle him, but that's another day and time... I can't wait till the day we find out who the mother is and who Barney (NPH) marries as well. If you loved friends and you are in your mi 20s to 30s then this is the perfect show, you'll grow to love the key characters and laugh because you have probably done alot of what happens in this show!

I hope you can check out a show or two! I know that I will be a couch potato each time these shows are on!

ENJOY!!!

workout wednesday

So I am not on to claim that I am a Health Nut, but I live a healthy life style that includes working out in some capacity and eating healthy (except I love Oreos, they are my down fall). So today I am giving you access to an awesome website that gives you workouts for each body area that you click on... It really is amazing!

http://www.divine.ca/en/fitness-and-nutrition/exercise-finder/c_266/

So when you click on say this highlighted pink section the "back" It gives you options of middle, lower, upper, or all and gives you specific exercises to each area. Good luck with it and happy exercising; remember exercising give you endorphins and endorphins make you HAPPY!!!

Oh and for any of you that want to know Justin (husband) and I got our test results back from the specialist and so far it seems everything is normal... This just means we go back for more tests, Grrr!

A Day Late and One Behind

I am so sorry that I didn't post yesterday.... I got sort of busy enjoying the amazing weather outside, here in the NEK it was like 58 degrees and sunny, let me tell you that is not normal for March! I am pretty sure that mother nature is going to give us one hell of an April Fools day.

Today is Tuesday and to be frank I was hoping I would wake up and it would be Friday :) I even found this awesome e-card I will share with you, as you can see it sums up my sentiments very well! Thank you ecards for the awesome thought!

I hope everyone enjoys their Tuesday and the nice weather that we are all having!

Shifting after much thought

I was thinking about a lot over the past 24 hours even more so since my hubby left me this morning for a company trip to the see the Boston Bruins play against the Capitals (the B's lost 4-3).... IF I know my hubby he probably tweeted all kinds of rants about the game, but I didn't look or pay attention, its probably best. Instead I took my 4 year old niece Jasmine and my 8 year old nephew Cameron to see the movie the Lorax,  BTW it was awesome, who ever thought the voice of the Lorax would be Danny Devito. If you do get a chance to go see the movie please do, its enchanting, musical, and lots of fun with a great message (like the book). 



Well now that I got that out of the way onto what I was really going to say... This whole blog thing got me thinking after checking out a bunch of others, I needed to not only do my "daily journal" type thing but I should have theme days which is will help this blog not be such a "journal" but really give people some insight to me and life around here :) So starting Monday I will have a better Idea of what types of themes on which days :) For now have a great beer and a fun night!

the secret is out

I think two days ago I mentioned that my Husband and I have been trying for a baby. Its been about 1.5 years and to no avail we have been unsuccessful, so I went to see a specialist this past Wednesday.

To my surprise it wasn't as scary as I made it out to be, but still all day leading up to my appointment I wanted to jump out of my skin and run as far as I could. With that being said the appointment went well and I was given a wealth of information to digest the best I could and the gyno sent me on my way to have blood drawn. My least favorite thing, the nurses at the lab are like blood sucking vampires who most of the time hurt sticking you and hurt you wil they pull out (thats what she said). I went home that night to a sympathetic husband who still feels the need to be embarrassed about this whole ordeal even though many couples go through this. As I sat discussing all the information with my husband he politely asked me how I felt about everything now, I was shocked, to think he really might want to know how I feel. Not, because he doesn't care but because he is trying to understand how I am not embarrassed by the situation at hand. I took a minute and gathered my thoughts, explained in my round about way that this happens to people and for myself, I find that this is a "small" problem or bump in the road but that I do best when I am able to talk about it and feel that there is support; right now the only support I see for myself is you and my mom. I want to see support for you parents and I think I would feel less stressed and like I didnt need to tip toeing around when I see them. We should discuss this with them so they don't think we are pregnant and are disappointed when they fin out we are not. I sat there waiting for a response and reluctantly agreed but it had to wait since they were having dinner with his sister and her family. That was the end of our discussion that night.

This brings me to last night, it was such a beautiful day even with the rain in the afternoon. When I got home Justin and I talked about how we would tell his parents. We decided not to go into huge detail but there was two points we wanted to make 1. was we are not pregnant at this time and 2. we are seeing a specialist, we had our dinner and went over our plan again then headed down our driveway to their home (if i didn't mention before they live 1/4 of a mile down our driveway).
So, we get to their house and were sitting in the living room, my husband starts the conversation and say so we would like to talk with you about something. Their yes light up and immediately Justin and I knew they thought we were pregnant. Justin (husband) tells them that we want to make it clear that we are not pregnant in case they thought we were. His parents both were a little shocked and sad, at least what I could tell from there faces. I then lead the conversation to "with that being said" we are having trouble conceiving and so we have seen a specialist. They were a little shocked but I have to say I felt so much better telling them, it was a ton of books of my shoulders. They said they are glad that we told them and they want to be as supportive as possible, also that we can lean on them "they are family". I chuckled at the thought, but I couldn't agree more. We also told them we didn't want to tell anyone anything until we have all of the test results back and if anyone asks if were pregnant to say were not.

After all of that awesome conversation Justin went back and watched the hockey game and I went to bed at like 2030; it was a relief and much needed sleep! What an exhausting 2 hours...

knickers are up and music is a pumping

I sit here at work and am bobbing my head back and forth to the jams playing on the computer... I am thinking about how I want this day to go and how productive I want to be, which to be honest isn't a whole lot at this point in the morning. I have found myself to be here alone in the office since my office mate is off to a training in southern VT for two days! (YUCK!) As I sit here alone, I am finding myself more amused to jam out to the music and blog about how productive I need to be... I am sure you have found yourself in this very predicament before, right??? It's OK if you don't admit it, I wouldn't tell anyone if you have been in this spot- secrets are safe with me ;)

To help myself become more productive in the most logical way I know how is to look up the meaning of productive:

pro·duc·tive/prəˈdəktiv/

Adjective:

Producing or able to produce large amounts of goods, crops, or other commodities. Relating to or engaged in the production of goods, crops, or other commodities. After reading this I am not sure that I am producing large amounts of anything while here at work since I feel that my work load is suppose to Eb and flow daily due the environment that I work in and the population I work with. I mean they are youth what youth gets up early in the morning or wants to meet with any type of youth worker???  Don't get me wrong, I am plenty productive on any given day but I am not sure as a whole it amounts to "large" productions of goods, crops or other commodities. I guess in the grand scheme it may actually amount to something "large" but daily its really small and some times minuscule (I hope that's not a bad reflection on my work). So this morning I am setting to goals for myself: 1. Work on work and 2. not get caught up on facebook or pinterest since it is so easy to piss away time doing both :) I wish anyone else in this funk to set a goal or 2 for yourself as well.... Good Luck!

Jumping Out of My Skin

Have you ever had a moment where you have so much anxiety that you want to jump out of your skin?
Well, I had one of those moments today. Today I met with a Gynecologist, and let me tell you just the word scares the living bajeezums out of me, not because of what this specific Dr. does but because its someone new that  I need to give them a run down on my reproductive organs, sexual history, and everything else under the sun.
This specific Dr. appointment came about because my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for just over 18 months and in the world of baby making it shouldn't take that long. For the past year I have felt this deep down pit in my stomach that said something wasn't working, and to this day I still have that deep down pit. My husband and I both don't want to admit that its either of us that have something wrong, instead he just keeps saying its going to be a "simple" problem I am not sure I believe that. I personally think it's going to be a long road that I nor him are ready to travel down even though we are desperately seeking a little one.
I will elaborate more on my appointment another time, but for now let me just say don't hold in the problems it can cause even more stress then there needs to be on any one person or any couple. In ending this post let me show you my beautiful bouncing nephew Colby. He is such joy even if he does scream 24/7 or at least that's what my ears are telling me when I am around him....

XOXO

Background on my life

C'est La Vie- Here is to my life now and before!!

Here is a picture of myself and my amazing Husband of 6 months and change! Yes, you heard that correctly we have only been married for 6 months and have been together for almost 6 years. Justin (my husband) is my rock, he may not understand all of my quirks but he loves all the more for them :) Brief history about our relationship: We met while attending college in good ole Lyndon State in Lyndon, VT. He was the quintessential gym "meat head"  junkie and I worked at the front desk and managed the college gym at the time. We hit it off and since then have been inseparable. I have taught him to love traveling and he has taught me to enjoy gambling and the outdoors again.

This is our baby Sierra Nevada! Yes, we named her after Sierra Nevada brewery (the hubby and I love beer)She is a lovable yellow lab who thinks she is a human. She is about a year and a half, and still acts like shes a little puppy who can fit in your lap, loves to play fetch and go for runs while we are on the 4 wheeler. She is a spoiled rotten puppy and that will never change! I think we may have created a monster, oh well!

Here is Jonesy! He is all of 6 months old and exactly a year younger then Sierra. He is named after our recently deceased cat Indiana aka Indy.... Jones is a mix of something and a Maine Coon Cat, can we say he will eventually be a huge fatso cat, YES WE CAN!!!

This is our humble abode, nestled in the valley between darling hill and pudding hill. If anyone knows where that is then you know its a beautiful place where the river runs through... Although this a winter shot in the summer its alive with the sound of music, I mean birds and greenery! It truly is a dream home for us and is almost 2 years old, time sure has flown since we built. Ah, the days and many nights of dry walling, mudding and painting; I miss those days of working a regular job then coming back to work all night on the humble abode. Wait a second, I don't really miss those days I relish in the fact I dont have to do much of anything like that anymore....
This is a small and short preview into my life. Looking forward to telling you more as my life goes on and I think about what I want to share!!

XOXO

A day off in the middle of the week

Hey all you readers!
I figured I would join the numerous amounts of people who blog about their life and other peoples lives. I mean its always been a fantasy to be a professional journalist or some type of writer; sadly, I have never been that good. So, I figured blogging doesn't need to be "professional" or "good" its a place where I can say what I want and how I want; even if spelled wrong or grammatical errors occur. So if you want to be along for the journey of my life in the NEK then hop on board, it may be a bumpy ride but will definitely have its smooth moments!