Beginning, Middle and a new start

Over the past year or two my husband and I have been dealing with infertility, nothing that I haven't said yet in this blog. However the more I look in the past the more it made me think about how broken I felt. I felt broken and defeated going through this process of finding out what was wrong with me or with even my husband; he felt it was me and I did the childish thing and said will it could be you! rather then be supportive of each other. We have grown both individual and as a couple over the past year, we learned so much about each other, like for instance he learned about my fears of never being pregnant, my crazy idea of being pregnant and done by the time I am 30 years old and the fact that I don't want to be in my 60s and just having my kids get out of the house. I learned he is super laid back about issues at hand, he also wants to have kids and be done by 30 but he also understand it may not happen with the hand we have been dealt (this is where we differ). Justin is one of the most kind, caring and supportive people I know, even when I am at my most craziest, he just goes with it and even picks me up when I fall. Who could really ask for a better man to spend the rest of their live with; I know many women say the same thing about their man too.

Since all of this IF stuff started I found myself engulfed in the world of blogging or at least reading blogs about others who have been through IF and have seen the good the bad and the ugly. I found many blogs, but not all dealing with IF I started to follow a few who were jut pregnant and telling their story through their pregnancy, a few had IF problems and also found themselves to be pregnant finally, and a few where just super cute and drew me in. each one has given me hope that Justin and I will find ourselves one day holding a darling baby girl or boy (I am hoping girl). Each blog post I read I can relate to even if I don't have kids, they each teach me something and/or give me joy.

Here's a quote I found that I think fits at this time in my life: "you've got what it takes, but it will take everything you've got" That is my plan, to give everything I have from now til the day I get to hold a baby, my baby, well our baby. This quote is what is going to get me through now that we have jumped a big hurdle and finally got some good news.

Yesterday, I spent the day at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center. Justin and I found out a little while ago i was going to need surgery to repair one if not both Fallopian tubes and remove a cyst from my right ovary. We yesterday August 14th was the day! I felt I was a trooper, even with this being my first surgery ever; I was more scared then when and elephant sees a mouse. I Had Justin take some photos of before I got all hopped up on meds and then he took one when I was in recovery, I will share those later :) all in all it was a successful surgery according to Dr. Porter, she did have to take out my right tube in the end because it was far to damaged for her to save, she also removed the cyst in my right ovary, and was able to clean out and fix my left tube. She said in her opinion she thinks this is going to give us a great chance of getting pregnant on our own with no IVF. She did warn us though or well warned Justin that we now have a higher rate of having a tubal pregnancy so we will have to be monitored closely so we can try to prevent that. I am just happy I didn't loose it all! So recovery is about 6 weeks of no lifting over a gallon of milk, and just making sure I don't get any heaving bleeding or a spike in fever. I go back on the 17th of September where I should get approval to start trying to have a baby (Yippee, Hooray, Yahoo!!!) we are super excited to have this chapter starting and hoping it will only bring us amazing things over the next year. However if it doesn't we know we can handle anything that may come our way; Together.

Look for Picture and stuff later, I am to tired to do anymore.....